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Regret, why it affects us so much

Regret, why it affects us so much

The acts carried out by any human being lead him to experience some associated feelings. One of them is remorse, which arises when we do something that we ourselves fail. We will see better what it is and the mental process that is lived.

What is remorse

The first thing to better understand why remorse arises is to understand this concept well. It is a feeling of guilt that a person has for something they have done and that makes them uneasy. That is, the person loses what is known as inner peace.

Conscientious remorse, as they say, is a feeling that is closely related to guilt. Remorse is a feeling that can accompany us for a long time and harm us mentally and psychologically.

These regrets can accompany us for years, even the rest of our lives if we do not face the fact that caused them and forgive ourselves for it. It seems simple and logical to the naked eye, but obviously, for the person who experiences that guilt it is not so easy to get rid of it.

But, Why are we not able to overcome remorse? It should be noted that remorse is something very personal. Each person experiences it based on their beliefs, education and, ultimately, according to their own ethics.

This means that each person has their own concept of what is wrong. Therefore, not everyone feels remorse for the same acts, just as there are people who simply do not feel it.

Here comes into play a concept widely used in psychology: Emotional coherence This is nothing more than trying to always act according to our own values, knowing and knowing what are the things that make us feel bad.

In this way we will avoid feeling regrets to a great extent, because by being convinced that we act as we should, even if something does not work out, we will have the comfort of having decided to conform to our values.

This is one of the best ways to prevent this unpleasant feeling from appearing. For this it is necessary to know ourselves and know where our limits are, for which experience is always a degree.

How to overcome regret

As we say, the experience will help us to get to know each other and avoid feeling remorse. Or even if we already feel them, it will help us overcome them. Therefore, we should value this experience in positive and learn from it to prevent it from affecting us in the future.

To overcome remorse it is necessary understand ourselves and know why we acted in that way. This is important, since sometimes we are our worst judges and we use a measuring stick that we don't always apply to other people.

Self-knowledge test

Here forgiveness comes into play, a human act that means being honest with ourselves and with the people we have harmed. In this way we show our repentance for something we have done.

In some cases this may mean starting over with that person or, in the worst case, staying at peace with her to continue our journey without her. Once the damage is done, you have to understand that you cannot go back, so the smartest thing is to accept the emotions we feel and put our inner world at peace.

Another key, closely related to this, is relativize. Precisely because we are our worst judges, we sometimes magnify what we have done and give it a dimension that, in reality, does not.

Think if what you have done is really so serious. For this you can move mentally in time and see it from the future. Would you really see what you now see as something so serious as to have that negative feeling?

Another trick to see with perspective the dimension of what we have done and redeem ourselves of guilt is to be aware that we are judging the facts with information that we did not possess at the time of the action that caused the damage.

He also thinks that mistakes are part of life and that we have to make them to learn and move forward. Is about a means of learning and knowledge without which it is impossible for us to learn and evolve in life. It is part of the maturity process of every person.

That is why we do not have to bear the burden of responsibility and guilt forever. It is normal for us to inflict damage on other people due to specific circumstances, just as we ourselves will experience the same.

So you already know, remorse is a very negative feeling That can hurt you a lot. To move forward it is necessary to leave this guilt behind and overcome it.